If influencing is a skill, then how do you practice it?
Employ the 5W Framework
What – Present your perspective clearly. Back it up with solid data and facts to strengthen your case.
So What – Explain why your viewpoint matters. Highlight the impact and the stakes for the other person.
Ask What – Engage in the conversation. Use open-ended questions to gather more information. Listen actively and show empathy by paraphrasing what the other person says.
Modify What – Reflect on the discussion. Combine the ideas shared by both parties and evolve your viewpoint with logical reasoning.
Now What – Conclude with a summary. Establish clear next steps, assign responsibilities, and set timelines.
Additional Tips to Enhance Your Influence
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Structure Your Conversation
- Begin casually to create a comfortable environment.
- Clearly state your conversation’s purpose and invite the other person to share their agenda. This helps in setting mutual expectations.
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Mind Your Style
- Speak clearly and at a steady pace to ensure understanding.
- Avoid filler words to project confidence and maintain control of the dialogue.
- Practice active listening without interruptions, making the other person feel valued.
Remember, your goal is to build trust, not fear.
- Avoid blaming.
- Listen with an open mind.
- Welcome feedback.
- Offer your support.
A Real-Life Scenario: Doubting Dexter vs. Reassuring Ria
Imagine Dexter, who thinks authority is enough to command respect, and Ria, who knows the real power of influence.
Doubting Dexter: “Just make them listen! You’re the boss, they have to!”
Reassuring Ria: “Being a boss isn’t enough. True influence comes from impacting thoughts and actions.”
Doubting Dexter: “No way! Just tell them what to do. Your ideas make sense!”
Reassuring Ria: “It’s not that simple. It’s about asking the right questions and understanding others.”
Doubting Dexter: “Why bother? Just give orders!”
Reassuring Ria: “Influence is about value. Show how your ideas benefit everyone, not just dictate them.”
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